Saturday, September 29, 2007

About Grandmas, in general

Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret

Grandmothers are just "antique" little girls. ~Author Unknown

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.
~Welsh Proverb

A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~Author Unknown

Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown


When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
~Ogden Nash

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just
you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree

Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies. ~Author unknown

Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our
hearts forever. ~Author Unknown

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren,
I'd have had them first. ~Lois Wyse

If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should
advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is
no fun for old people like it! ~Hannah Whithall Smith

It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother - that's why the
world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown

Grandchildren are God's way of compensating us for growing
old. ~Mary H. Waldrip

You do not really understand something unless you can explain
it to your grandmother. ~Proverb

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again.
Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret

The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You
feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long
periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida . ~Dave Barry

Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas
are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do.
Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of
little children. ~Alex Haley

Grandmother - a wonderful mother with lots of
practice. ~Author Unknown

If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses,
sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the
time," you're the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale

What is it a bout grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say
that grandparents are God's gifts to children. And if they can
but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they
can mature at a fast rate. ~Bill Cosby

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

That *other* day

Yesterday, September 24, marked the anniversary of my grandfather's death. He died in 1983. It's been twenty-four years and I can still recollect my dad's face when he told me and how I walked into our kitchen not knowing what to do with myself. The grief surrounded me like a bubble and I couldn't hear myself crying.

September 24 became a day I would always dread. In recent years I would call my grandmother as I knew she missed him too. I was his princess, the only grandaughter and the oldest. I had Al the longest, Goldie too.

It is almost three months and it feels like yesterday.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

My Hand

While stopped at a traffic light yesterday, I noticed my engagement ring was turned inside, so the stone pressed against my palm. I fiddled the ring around, and immediately saw my grandmother's hand in mine.

I am not crazy nor was I hallucinating. She and I used to sit together and hold hands. My eyes started to well with tears as I the image of our hands clasped together quickly faced and was replaced with the notion they will never be again.

Monday, September 17, 2007

i miss her TOO!

Within 5 minutes of being at my parents for Rosh Hashanah last week I felt like
screaming, "I MISS HER TOO!"

It became painfully clear I will never be able to be sad about my grandmother's death at my parents.

Instead, I looked away. And I shut down. I will never be able to be sad about my grandmother's death in the company of some of my relatives again. I will forever be stifling my feelings in their presence.
It's not fair.

There is just too much sadness there, leaving little room for my own.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Hava Nagilah

Eric and I were at a wedding on Sunday. We both looked great and were happy for the bride and groom. We started dance to Hava Nagila and all seemed to be going well, even though many apparently do not know how to dance the Horah.

In the middle of dancing, I got very hot. I stopped moving and started to sweat. It was then I felt the wave of grief coasting over me. My grandmother would not be at my children's Bar and Bat Mitvahs. It was far-fetched ever thinking that she would. But Alex's Bar Mitzvah is in May, and it was to be the "follow up" event (we kidded) to her celebrating her 90th birthday in March.

No one but Eric noticed I had stopped and that my eyes were full of tears. I know he knew my thoughts and I didn't have to say a word.