Here we are, July 3 2008. Today would be the anniversary of the last day of my grandmother's life. I was awake thinking about this last night, how it can't possibly be a year since I spoke to her or hugged her, that she has not been physically here.
July 1, 2007 marked the last day I saw her. She came over to celebrate my aunt's birthday. We sat outside, and ate paninis from EAT Oceanside, a restaurant Eric and I like. We ordered each sandwich individually so everyone could enjoy what they really wanted. Afterwards, Eric brought his laptop to the back yard, and we wasted away the afternoon listening to possible songs for my mom to download as her ringtone. I wonder what my grandma was thinking - how you could listen to the radio on your computer and set it up so you could play music on your cell phone!
We hugged and said goodbye and our usual "I love you mores" and that was it.
On the eve of the anniversary of her death I am sad and nauseated and know I haven't really begun to deal with my grief. I miss her so much: her love looks, her smiles to me, her hugs, the way she said Ame, and how she adored my children. I want to believe I am lucky to have had her, and I intellectually know that. But it still hurts like hell.
About Me
- Amy
- My children are wonderful but who knew how challenging life would become. I am dumbfounded sometimes that they came from me. They have enriched my life exponentially to degrees of joy I never knew were possible.
